Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
