i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
