Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
