come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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