girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
