Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Will exercising make me less horny?
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