I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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