i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
