How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
