Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
