Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
