what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
