the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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