Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i dont even know how to be here
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
