Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
