I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
