people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
