Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
