he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
