I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
