He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
