She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
