How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
