I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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