haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
