I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
