Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
