I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
