ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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