Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
