WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
