good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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