butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I cannot find my penis.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
