he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
