Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
