Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
