People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
