The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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