so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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