what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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