Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
