i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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