2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just saw a hot homeless man
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
