who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
