Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
