Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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