Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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