is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
