4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
