apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
