Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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