I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
